I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Houston, we have a squirter
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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