Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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