apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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