I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
