I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think my moral compass just broke
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
