Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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