She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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