She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
