i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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