Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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