You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
