spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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