dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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