I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
