some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
