so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
50% drunk capacity currently
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
