i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
