5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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