So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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