We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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