Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
