I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so let's talk penis.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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