What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize