hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
