Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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