Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Yo dont text me then not text me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
