Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
