This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
