i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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