So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
