she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
