man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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