I think I died a long time ago.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
