At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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