piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
