my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Congratulations! We have a period
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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