I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize