Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
