Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize