I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize