i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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