It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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