Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
