Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
