I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
