Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
