Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize