i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
