Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this will be a night to untag.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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