it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize