So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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