my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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