Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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