I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
