In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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