NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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