Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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