Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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