just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
