As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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