the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
