If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
