I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
