I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
