what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
