She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
