So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
