put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
